Thursday, February 23, 2012

Le world

My world, with you in it, is upside down. Nothing is where it should be, and everything is where it shouldn't be. It feels wrong. Forced and unnatural. Like breathing through your ears, so you don't breathe.
And yet, without you in it, it's dark. Menacing and odd, devoid of comfort. And love. Dark and menacing and odd and devoid of comfort and love and yet, mine.
Mine. Not ours. Mine.
You push me to rebel. Against you. Against myself. Against everything that holds us together.
Or maybe I'm just pushing myself.
My world, with you in it, has a me that I do not know.
I do not like.
My world, without you in it, is big, spacious. And forgiving. Challenging, inspiring. Egging me to get up, pick myself up, get out there and do it.
My world, with you in it, assures me its quiet ok to stay down. Whats out there anyway. We have us. What more could we want?
I have all the answers I need. Right here waiting for me to pick them up.
I have none of the courage I need
And nothing more to give.

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