Sometimes it takes you a while to understand yourself, to
decipher the code. To understand for example, that you are extremely sensitive
to change, way more than your average person. To understand that your mood
swings are not the end of the world, and that it takes work and practice to
navigate them, that it might be hard work but not entirely impossible.
Growing up is hard, it’s about choices. And picking up
yourself when your choices fail you. When you fail you. It’s about making up
your mind and deciding. It’s about learning your own controls.
Sometimes you wake up and the world has ganged up on you,
and there is not a shred of comfort to be found anywhere, not even within the
safe havens of your mind. Sometimes, you will turn to the person closest to
your heart for comfort. Most times, you won’t find it. The problem with people
who feel too much is their un-quenchable thirst for sincerity is often
misleading. You will never touch the other side so long as you keep your glass
doors and expectations up so high. Don’t be genuine, be human. Don’t be
perfect, be the somebody they need you to be. Then disappear. No one will
notice anyway.
Stop feeling. Stop feeling everything tug at your soul. Stop
feeling under your skin. Learn the wonders of superficiality. Learn not to
care. This is urgent: learn not to care. Stop breaking your own heart. Fool.
I am on the brink of completely losing interest in the world.
